Just received the best critique from my instructor for the five pages I wrote in the last assignment for a class I’m in about novel writing.
“Wow! Awesome pages. Very little I would change. Great sense of POV, forwarding plot and characterization. Your dialogue simply shines here.
I can’t wait for more.”
There were two changes she made, simply to better identify who was performing a particular action outside the dialogue. Nothing else.
Sweet!
Current score.
Bees – 1
Me – 0
The two baby swarms joined up into one ball…at the trunk side of the branch, the harder of the two spaces to reach. Naturally. Ungrateful bitches. I wasn’t able to get close enough to them with the first setup and attempt to spray them with sugar water to keep them still and then be able to drop them in a clump. I did spray them as well as was possible and tried to scrape them off, but I’m just about six inches too short with the setup I had, and there was no satisfying plop of bees into the hive below them. If they’re still hanging out there later, towards dusk, I’m going to have another go at them, hauling out the giant ladder I used when I was painting the barn and try to position it somehow in that small stand of saw palmettos. By the way, there’s a reason they have that name. Don’t start tromping around in them trying to get a working space and positioning a hive body in your shorts. It’s a bad idea.
Two baby swarms about 40′ up in one of the giant pines. To give you a sense of it, the second picture is the tree. The swarms are on the third branch on the left, counting up from the bottom. The third pic is the area under the tree that I get to work in. Yay. This should be interesting.
