Tag Archives: football

Super Bowl 50

The game should be good. The ads, of course, get almost as much attention as the game. And of course, I will have to comment on them, as that’s what I do! This will be updated as the ads roll.

By the way: ugh, Phil Seeeeeems. It was only 20 seconds for the first of his verbal tics. And it was the first comment he had made.

Michelob Ultra – an ad that looked like it should be Gatorade. C

SoFi – are you great? A lot of people in that ad weren’t! B

NFL – Super Bowl babies. Is there really a boom in babies? I guess maybe for fans of the winning team. NR

Hyundai – the bear chase ad is not new to the Super Bowl rotation. NR

Snickers – nothing says hilarity like Willem Dafoe as Marilyn Monroe on the steam grate. A+

Doritos – the baby in the ultrasound chasing after Doritos was pretty funny, especially when the mom smacked the Dorito out of the dad’s hand and across the room. A

Apartments.com – Jeff Goldblum sings “Movin’ On Up” and meets George (Washington) and Wheezy (Lil’ Wayne). B

Avocados from Mexico – “And this is Scott Baio.” Since I am eating guacamole onion rings (or trying to), this made me laugh. “Would anyone like to feed Scott Baio? It’s included in the ticket? No?” LOL. A+

The Jungle Book – live action remake from Disney. NR

Audi – outstanding, probably because I’m such a space nerd, and with David Bowie’s “Starman” in the background? Stellar. Ha. A+

Mountain Dew – Puppymonkeybaby. Weird, and will be remembered for that. C

Sqaurespace – more football commentary from a funny duo, but doesn’t really connect with what they sell. D

ShockTop – Hipster jokes. B

Buick – Bridesmaid stretching out to Odell the catch of the bouquet. Odell says she was out of bounds. A

Advil – what aches? People doing all sorts of things, some of which shouldn’t even be possible. A

Jason Bourne – New Bourne movie with Matt Damon looking hella buff. From Universal. NR

Dollar Shave Club – dirtbag razors. These are always funny. A

Acura – Um, ok. C

Quicken Rocket Loans – Get a loan via your phone, boosting the economy for hand-lathed wooden legs. B

Comment: when defensive players almost take someone’s head off with a facemask like Talib did, they shouldn’t be allowed back in the game.

Bud Light – It’s a party! Quoting Independence Day. “I feel so inspired.” B

Skittles – Steven Tyler. Dream on! A

CBS ads for its various shows. NR

Ron Rivera is correct: the refs should be catching this stuff.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – from Michael Bay. It surely won’t be overdone with explosions and car crashes, etc. No way. What actors think this is good for their career? NR

T-mobile – “Verizon got it wrong, not me!” It wasn’t that funny the first time around. C

Hyundai – When you’re distracted by Ryan Reynolds, the car will stop you from running him over. Backdrop music “What a Man”. A

Luke Kuechly is a beast of a linebacker.

Special teams mistakes can really kill you.

OIC – Poor guy. But funny ad, and true. A

Persil – Snooze. C

Ad for The Good Wife, which I don’t watch. NR

Turnover by the Panthers. Are they trying to make it even more difficult for themselves? Prop bets were odds on for Panthers to score the first TD of the game (Broncos did, on a Panthers fumble) and go into halftime +3. Doesn’t look promising on that.

Coke – The Incredible Hulk drinks with his pinky up. Who knew? A

WeatherTek – Made in the USA.  B

NFL – Super Bowl babies again. NR

Gigantic Panthers defender intercepts Manning with one hand – he Odell’d it! Who knew ads could be so prescient?

Independence Day redux –  Randy Quaid won’t be around for this one, naturally, but Jeff Goldblum is back. NR

Prius – “How hard is it to catch a Prius?” Haha. Sweet driving by the stunt drivers. And sneaking through sleeping cops.  A

Terrific catch by Funches.

CBS – We’ve been here forever. NR

CBS – Our late night shows. One of our dramas in a hospital, with a bunch of impossibly sexy doctors and nurses. Every one of them.

Local ad.

Jimmy Johns – I hate the fucking yelling they do, and I don’t care how fast you are. C

Venus Swimwear – sexy models in swimsuits. They’re actually based here in Jax. NR

Halftime report as they get set up for the halftime show. Now to make coffee and a shake.

CBS – more of their shows.

Terrific halftime show. No complaints about Coldplay, Bruno Mars, or Beyonce, and a very nice tribute to past acts (plus RIPs to those no longer here to share their talents with the world).

Ad for Beyonce’s new tour.

Amazon echo – Missy Elliot gets the last laugh on Alec Baldwin and Dan Marino, A

Jeep – We’ve been everywhere. A

Domestic violence awareness – Yes. There is a confidential 24/7 hotline for victims of domestic violence. A+

CBS, CBS, CBS – watch our shows.

Krystal – fine for post-drinking and hangovers. B

Thrivent – no inappropriate casual Friday attired robots here! A

WalMart – Blegh. I won’t rate them because I hate them.

Krystal again – shrimp po’ boys. But those were crab pots on that fishing vessel. B

Doritoes – dogs like Doritos! A

Mini Cooper – Defy labels, indeed. A

TurboTax – Sir Anthony Hopkins is not selling out! It’s free! A

Pokemon – I can do that. Yes, you can. A

IBS ad by Xifaxan – a walking intestine is creepy. And I don’t like drug ads. C

LG – Liam Neeson is a badass, and it doesn’t matter what he’s selling. B

X-Men Apocalypse – They will save the world. NR

Death Wish Coffee/Intuit – nothing wrong with strong coffee! A

Butterfinger – Bolder than bold! And don’t mind Mom saying you’ll ruin your appetite for dinner. A

Showtime ads for their shows and online on demand.

Holy crap what a catch.

Fitbit – nice transition between every day travels/duties and exercising. B

Wix – using Kung Fu Panda, echoing other classic ads. Meh.  C

Heinz – weinerdogs! A

Honda – Sheep singing Queen. Awesome! A+

Budweiser – American beer (but company actually owned by a foreign entity). C

NFL – Super Bowl kids with Seal, with actual Super Bowl babies singing, too. A

Lexus – You could get used to a hefty car payment. B

xfinity – who I would get service from if they had service out here in the boonies because HughesNet sucks. B

Zaxby’s – not a new ad. NR

My current MVP candidates for this game: McManus, Miller, Kuechly.

Jeep – Fun 4×4 ad.  A

Schick – razors duking it out in the bathroom. B

Axe – good ad, but I hate the smell of that stuff. B

Missed pass interference call by the refs.

Jublia – toenail fungus. I guess the target audience suffers from OIC, IBS, and now toenail fungus? But Phil Seeeeems was in it, so that’s perfect. B

Kia – Christopher Walken is terrific. But no cowbell. A

“Pressure” as things head to the ad break. Cool.

T-Mobile – funny, but when I had their service, it sucked, so even Drake can’t fix that. B

No team has ever won a Super Bowl without an offensive touchdown. Will this be the one?

Budweiser: AWESOME DAME HELEN MIRREN AD.  Don’t be a pillock. Don’t drive drunk, assholes. A+

Remember when I said HughesNet sucks? They took this opportunity to go out. Total downtime: seven minutes.  Asshats.

Cam Newton didn’t bother to go for that ball he fumbled. WTF is up with that?

The Secret Life of Pets – OK, legitimately funny movie ad. NR

Colgate – save the water. B

SunTrust – we will make you happy and help you breathe. No idea what their product actually is. C

I’m perfectly OK with the Broncos winning this Super Bowl, especially if Manning retires before he gets himself killed on the field.

My vote for MVP: Von Miller.

Blah blah blah, postgame interviews. No, Manning is not going to say if he is retiring right after the game. Duh. But apparently he is going to give a shout out to Budweiser (bleh). No Disney World trips this year.

Esurance – first ad post-game, but didn’t see a single one during the game.

Super Bowl MVP: Von Miller. Terrific game.

And that is a wrap for Super Bowl 50. Hope y’all had as much fun as I did!

 

Playoff dinner

This afternoon, we watched the Packers beat the Seahawks in a near blizzard. This evening, we watched the Jaguars put up a valiant fight against the Patriots. They played much better than I thought they would, and really, after watching the Patriots in a couple of close games this season, I think the Jags put up a bigger fight than the Colts and the Ravens did – the game was much closer than the 11 point difference in the score.

And what do you need in order to watch a couple of playoff games? Food!

Guacamole: this batch was perfect. Astonishingly perfect. I’ll have to remember the ratios next time. I even ate some myself. We had corn tortillas made from organic corn with this. I had a few chips, too, but I think I could just eat this with a fork and be as happy.

Green stuff

Shrimp! Boiled with Old Bay, and lots of that.

Old bay is the best

Beef! A big pile of it. Grilled, and seasoned only with salt, peper, and garlic.
Beef

That was because half of it was ordered from a place in Missouri offering grassfed beef. And I think this is even better than the last batch of beef we found from a local place – sweeter, more fragrant, if you can apply that sort of terminology to beef.

More beef

Shrimp! This batch in honey, lime, soy, pepper, cumin, red pepper, and ginger.

More shrimp

Broccoli! Because you have to have something green.

Broccoli

I also made another batch of rolls (there are a grand total of three left), we had corn on the cob, and we had a cheese sauce for the broccoli. I just realized as I was uploading these images that we completely neglected to make any baked potatoes. Not that anyone missed them, since we stuffed ourselves with everything else.

So we watched the Jags hang with the Patriots for awhile, enjoyed our food and good company, and overall had a grand evening. Now to start work on the menu for the conference championship games…

Football paradise

For football fans, this time of year is the best: both college and pros come to the end of the season, which means multiple games throughout the week, and the very end of the year brings the bowl games, with multiple games on the same day, starting early and ending late.

One of the other things all this activity brings is even more strange and bad things from the mouths of the announcers.

Tonight I heard Sterling Sharpe say “I don’t got none o’ that.” while referring to an Oklahoma State fan decked out in his Cowboy duds, complete with large belt buckle. This is as bad as anything Emmit Smith managed to stumble through in what I hope will be his one and only season on ESPN.

During the Minnesota game yesterday, I caught this gem: “How many defensive touchdowns has Minnesota scored on defense this year?” Well, that would be all of those defensive touchdowns, just by definition, since the offense can’t very well score a defensive touchdown. I’m sure he meant “How many defensive touchdowns has Minnesota scored this year?” (six interceptions returned for tds for 2007, in case you’re curious), but that struck me as quite funny while I was checking through all the games.
I know it must be hard, speaking extemporaneously during a live broadcast, but at least in the first case, I would hope they would be able to speak in a grammatically correct way.