More free tips from tech support

1. When we tell you to log into your control panel, this means YOUR control panel. Not the demo account. Not ours. Yours. It’s not a mystery to us as it is to you why you can’t log in if you’re not trying to log in at the right place.

2. Don’t be surprised when we take major offense to your suggestion that we’re not providing the services for which you’ve paid. And don’t think for a minute we’ve misinterpreted your remark and act indignant when we call you on something. If there’s one thing that my time on the brink with cancer taught me, it’s that people spend far too much time just rattling off whatever comes into their tiny brains than thinking about what they’re about to say.

3. If you’re going to sign your emails with the title “web designer” then maybe you should learn some rudiments about actually doing just that. Like properly uploading files to your web folder instead of opening a ticket, telling us you have done just that, and then letting us find that you didn’t. Furthermore, don’t open yet another ticket saying that you can’t figure out how to get files there and then blithely say you’ll just upload them and let us move them each time.

4. When you open a ticket, and we respond to it – and can see that you did receive the response – don’t open yet another ticket, on the same issue, acting as if you didn’t receive that response. The answer isn’t going to change.

5. Finally, don’t ask us when we’re going to change something “as other competitive web hosts are doing” because you don’t want to pay more than you’re paying. There’s a reason people leave our service to go to one of those “competitive” services offering everything in the world for just a couple of bucks a month and then suddenly reappear on our doorstep. In one case, that boomerang lasted less than 24 hours.

That is all.